Updated: Jun 21
Sarah Cutler I CWC Director I 03 March 2021
Have you ever had that moment of sudden realisation that we’re all just kind of winging our way through this thing called life?! We see other women going about their lives and admire them from afar because they seem like they have it all together. Beautiful on the inside and out, smiley, happy, smart and looking like they’ve got this life lark totally sussed! But then one day you have an unexpected conversation with them or bump into them while they’re upset – and the illusion is suddenly shattered.
You realise despite appearances, they too have self-doubts, about their achievements, their parenting, their bodies, even their own fundamental character. The list of reasons of why these wonderful women are feeling so down on themselves can be endless! The society and culture we live in smother us with expectations and standards that are impossible to meet, and then we feel like a failure when we inevitably do not meet them. We loathe our bodies, we underestimate our abilities and we undervalue our worth when instead we should be praising ourselves on the great job we’re doing, admiring how strong we are coping with the challenges we face every single day, and loving ourselves for who we are! We juggle work and children, businesses and hobbies, responsibilities and commitments. We take on the feelings and problems of others. We give all of ourselves over to everyone and everything. We find time we don’t have and energy that is already spent. We are warriors, every day, even when we feel weak and weary.
But it’s not always easy to overcome those inner whisperings. While some of us are thicker-skinned and seem to let things slide off us like water from a duck’s back, many of us let the words and actions of others affect us deeply. We let all the criticisms, the names, the rejections ever inflicted wound us and those wounds sometimes never heal, but re-open, again and again, and we feel the pain each and every time. We hold our mistakes against ourselves like life sentences. We never seem to be able to let it all go completely. I’m not sure we can ever overcome our inner doubts completely, it’s the bane of the human existence, however, we can overcome the power they hold over us. It’s all about how we respond to the insecurities when they’re triggered. Do we let them control us, or do we take control back? But how do we manage to love ourselves like we deserve? The way we finally achieve this may be different for each person, and usually it takes that one thing to trigger a light bulb moment, and suddenly we start to see things differently.
For me, I try to remember that I am amazing, just because I exist. We all are. The human body is one of the most sophisticated organic machines to have ever existed. It is the perfect combination of science and spirit, with potential abilities we haven’t even fathomed yet. We are truly miraculous, a marvel. From the forming of our galaxy, to the forming of our planet, to the cells that evolved into the first humans, we are universal matter walking and talking and thinking. We are star dust. We are incredible, just because we exist, just because we are living. When we think like this, all those other things - the achievements and successes, the societal expectations just become the surplus, they are the extra, what came later, what our species created, what we have heaped on to our own shoulders and measure ourselves against. And what we can shrug off too. So even in the darkest moments, when I feel weighed down by expectation and responsibility and the whisperings of self-doubt are at their loudest, I remind myself where I came from, that my true purpose is just to ‘be’, and for a little while at least, I lighten the load of my own self-esteem.
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