Updated: Jan 27
CWC Columnist I Stephanie Weager I Sun 23 Jan 22
Life is all about relationships and yet this all important aspect of our lives is often neglected or when problems occur things often go ignored, swept under the carpet or dismissed.
Relationships begin in the womb. The health, the mind or attitude of the Mother throughout gestation can whether for good or bad, have a bearing on the unborn child.
It has been documented that Mothers who listen to music or dance when pregnant will have a baby that responds to music when it is born.
At birth our first relationship begins. How well we bond with our Mother. Was it a happy birth? A stress free birth? Was there trauma? Is the life of our Mother settled and happy? So many things determine our connection with relationships from the moment we enter the world.
As we grow we have a relationship with our Father or someone who is the co-parent. We may have siblings. We may be fortunate enough to have Grandparents or Aunts, Uncles, God parents all of whom we form a relationship of some kind.
As babies and toddlers we are encouraged to socialise, to learn skills, to share, to show our emotions and to prepare us for the long educational years ahead.
In my work I have seen or heard all scenarios of relationships. During the last thirty five years I must have listened to, and guided on over at least thirty thousand relationship issues.
Some that seem complex to the individual may be straightforward to the impartial listener.
Others, when further information becomes available, prove complex whilst sadly some are tragic.
Most of us regard a relationship as being someone we love, someone we have as our partner but we forget there is also our relationships with neighbours, friends, colleagues, a boss, our in laws, our Doctor, or Dentist or Hairdresser, the list is endless. Each and every one of us are handling a
relationship at some level at every minute of our lives.
When we become parents ourselves, the whole complex cycle repeats we aim to have the best relationship with our children whilst encouraging them to be happy in their own lives and emotional complexities.
Another word that features regularly alongside relationships is ‘guilt’.
Guilt we do not spend enough time with someone, or guilt we did not have chance to say goodbye to a loved one before they died, or perhaps guilt that we snapped rudely at a colleague.
Women generally appear to suffer more guilt than men, often because they are the ‘social organisers ‘ of a relationship, hence a woman suffers guilt she forgot to post a birthday card, or forgot to call a friend back!
In this modern day of uncertainty I find that more and more of my clients or associates come to me primarily about relationships.
Not everyone can love or get on with everyone. Respect, consideration, awareness, kindness, sensitivity towards others all make up the key points to sustaining a good relationship.
Communication however is most important. Expressing yourself, making yourself clear or heard is the start to better harmony.
Lastly never neglect the relationship with yourself, being happy within or liking yourself and what you represent goes long way towards better relationships all round.
Stephanie is a life coach and well being consultant with a huge client base of 35 years plus and is accredited by the LOC in Harley Street. She is also a fragrance designer using essential oils, designing Artisan Products for home and beauty. She is based in Stroud.
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